who needs sleep

Day two! Here we are. (don’t be confused by the title. I’m writing in the past, when I should be sleeping. Good Morning Future People. Here’s yesterday’s news)

Advice of the Day: Everyone, go to your Netflix screen of choice and watch “He Never Died”. Then watch it a few more times. I think Henry Rollins has been training his whole life for this.

Coping Mechanism of the day- Calendars. Long term, short term, one so I know how many days have happened in the normal week. I have to make sure I at least have a cycle of work and rest. It’s easy to get caught up in one and lose the balance of the other.

TLDR of yesterday- I’m depressed because I’ve been in a rut but that’s okay because it’s been the mental health reboot I’ve needed.

Today I realized, One of the reasons I’m depressed is because I’ve been told the way I think is a disease. That my scattered patterns are disruptive. To you maybe, but to me there is a beautiful pattern in what looks like chaos. My “ADHD” is just a mind moving faster than the observers. I think like lighting and ungrounded, it archs. I’m tired of trying to shoehorn my personality into the society appropriate mold. It’s about taking the “methods” they teach for effectivity and use them the way that works for me. As long as the end goal is achieved, then who cares if I got up at 5 am or went to bed then. My personal space may appear wildly disorganized and I know where everything is. And I’m fine working five long days in a row if I know I’m going to get two days to sleep in. You know what, yeah getting caught up may not scientifically be a thing, but artist are not known as the products of a “balanced” mind.

I often think about starting a podcast or video blog though I wonder if I’m still young enough to be perky, or if I’m getting to be the “cool older person”, thinking of myself as the kind of person I would have looked up to as a kid. Then I worry I’m the “cool older person” but the kind I looked up to in high school. I think when you hit the third decade,

I was visited today by a man of faith. He told me of mankind’s choice to go it alone and of the disharmony it has wrought. I listened to his words because to me, faith is three blind men trying to describe an elephant. While separate they may each be wrong, listening to all three voices is to get the bigger picture. I felt reminded of the bigger picture I’ve come to understand. We are meant to be caretakers of this earth, not conquerors of it. We are meant to be on the same team. And while we must celebrate and cherish the individual, we must choose actions that support the bigger picture. The more time we waste arguing who is wrong is less time spent doing what’s right. There is a universal code that you cannot fucking deny that persists through all pack based society. You survive by working together. With the entire world finally being able to be a part of the big conversations, we can no longer ignore that we are all family. Disown your brother all you want, you still share blood.

Write when the muse strikes, if this is important then make it important.

 

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